


Yellow Carnation - Disdain

by JRNightingale



Series: Flowertober 2020 [28]
Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRNightingale/pseuds/JRNightingale
Summary: She felt the world hated her for saving humanity.
Series: Flowertober 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947592
Kudos: 7





	Yellow Carnation - Disdain

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set after the 8th Singularity. Pre -Remnants

She hated herself. She loathed herself. She felt unworthy of all the things she has done.

After saving humanity, what she could have done is easily retire and run away from the Magus world. Just like her father did when he was finally free from the shackles of a mage's mind and had met her mother.

But now, she couldn't run away.

With Chaldea having a new director soon did all of her worries and self-loathing finally crashed down upon her like a sudden storm that had brewed over.

But the storm wasn't sudden, it had already been brewing for a long time.

The Mage's...No, the Outside world rather saw Chaldea as an entity that should be contained and dismantled. Chaldea broke a lot of the set rules, yes.

But if they hadn't broken them in the first place those mongrels wouldn't be standing in their power right now.

Gilgamesh had told her that.

The Staff had to doctor her files and reports to make it seem a little bit plausible and credible even for Mage's standards, the stuff that regular magi do is already complicated and weird enough, this whole Humanity thing is just on another level. She knew it in herself that what she had gone through saving humanity was an arduous task that no human being or magi could face alone.

They would easily crumble under the weight of the world.

It was Quetzalcoatl that told her that for encouragement.

They wouldn't be able to face death in the eyes if they could.

It was Medea who told her that.

But no matter how many encouragements she has gotten from her servants, the staff, Da Vinci, Holmes in his way, Mash and maybe even Fou.

She felt undeserving of her achievements.

Was it because the world disdains her as she was just supposed to be a background character in the whole story? Yeah

Was it because she had essentially just taken A Team's supposed merits and all their hard work was for nothing, their training, and all they had to give up for this opportunity? Yeah, that too.

Or was it because her father too was disdained by the world of the magecraft and in extension, she was too. She doesn't know it.

But now, all she is looking for is a quiet place.

A place to rest.

She let her legs walk to wherever they may see fit.

She arrived at the greenhouse.

"Ah! Master! I was waiting for you!", 

The familiar voice of Merlin had comforted her a bit. She approached the Mage of Flowers and noticed a small green blob at his side.

She tilted her head a bit to the side of the creature and remembered it was Enkidu. In a primal form that he rarely takes up but does so on special occasions.

Merlin patted the space in between his legs and Lilianne made herself comfy. She leaned back onto him, one arm loosely wrapped around her waist. Enkidu had taken up space in their master's arms.

They felt cool to the touch, the warm artificial sunlight of the greenhouse, the soft muted scent of flowers that came from Merlin calmed her mind down before letting sleep take over.

She'll handle the contempt of the world once her mind has been refreshed.


End file.
